By Sarah Olmedo
 
         Confronting the darkest parts of yourself is never easy. Choosing to share that darkness with others makes it even harder. Senior poet Nicole Favors mines her personal traumas and explores her identity through her currently in-production chapbook, If Not Today, Tomorrow.
         Nicole first started writing poetry in high school. Initially, she was very straightforward about her feelings, but she also had a tendency to hesitate expressing some darker experiences. The works William Shakespeare and Edgar Allan Poe drew Nicole into poetry and inspired her to begin writing her own. 

​“You have to break it down in order to truly understand what they’re trying to say,” She explained, about Shakespeare’s and Poe’s poetry. “Through poetry I’ve learned to code my messages. I don’t let readers access all of me right away.”

​Poetry has helped Nicole explore different facets of her identity, and work through experiences with her mixed heritage, hardships with sexual assault and a difficult relationship with her mother. Many of these themes have become key themes in her poetry chapbook she’s working on for her college Senior Thesis. 
It’s not easy, but it's worth it for Nicole, “Knowing that my voice is going to be heard is a really big thing for me. Once this poetry chapbook is out, people will be able to learn more about me and my past, things that have made me who I am today.”
Learning about herself and her identity have been key points of Nicole's struggle, which really shine through in her poetry. She’s still in the process of finding her voice, but poetry has given her the freedom and power to explore those themes. 
For example, in her poem “Sin” she writes “She eats bread and drinks / her cup of wine and still can’t be promised healing. When robes / teach lessons, she struggles / to keep her mouth shut. Her sin lays underneath / a reservoir no one can justify.” 
         These lines are an incredibly powerful dive into personal identity versus religious identity, a recurring theme within Nicole’s book. She explores her experiences within the church through these metaphors, and while “she struggles / to keep her mouth shut” this poem speaks volumes to her voice and how she’s processed her traumas. 
But, equally so, Nicole also makes sure to take time to focus on the healing she's done as well. Much of her poetry is written in the third person, allowing her to reflect on her experiences.
         It was scary to start putting all of this together in her book. Nicole was initially very hesitant to push into it, her initial pieces hiding this part of her voice. “Ultimately, I knew it was okay to open up and to let these things out and share them with other people.” Sharing her experiences has been another big motivator in her works. 

She went on to say:

“There’s other people out there that could be experiencing a similar thing and this book could resonate with them and they could feel a sense of comfort. A sense of, ‘Okay, this person understands what I’m going though, and I feel less alone.’ Ultimately, that’s what I want to do with my work.” ​

         Nicole is always asking for advice on the best ways to revise her poetry or how to present a piece. But one of the biggest things she’s learned is “not being afraid to use your voice to say whatever it is you want to say, regardless of what someone else thinks of you. There’s no sense in filtering yourself for the sake of someone else.”
         While she has a lot of experience and will soon be presenting her own chapbook, Nicole doesn’t have all the answers. To other poets, she recommends to “always follow your gut feeling. People will give you advice, but ultimately all the answers are within yourself.”  This strength and empowerment in herself and her own voice are truly exemplified in her poetry.
         Writing is such a powerful form of expression. Poetry is just one of many ways to find yourself. It’s also the way Nicole has gained her own confidence, in her own journey of developing her poetry and voice. 
She’s truly an inspiring poet, and it’s been a pleasure to hear her speak about her experiences. Nicole’s poetry chapbook is still in the works, but the finalized form of If Not Today, Tomorrow, will be released during her oral defense May 9th. Please look forward to it!
 
To keep up with Nicole and her poetry journey, you can follow her on Instagram @npfavors