Have you ever looked at your living room and thought “I think the centerpiece I’m missing is a taxidermy peacock lamp?” The owners of The Mystic Museum in Burbank certainly have. To those interested in horror and the occult, their first stop might be to the Museum of Death or the Hollywood Forever Cemetery, but Los Angeles holds so much more than bustling tourist sites like these. For a truly unique and personal experience, The Mystic Museum should be top of your itinerary. I had never been particularly invested in "witch" culture before. Sure, at a glance healing crystals and tarot cards are fun, but I just never felt them calling to me. When I first heard about the Mystic Museum, I thought I would be walking into some cheap Halloween store, something for little kids to laugh at and enjoy. What I got couldn’t be farther from what I presumed.
Located on Magnolia Boulevard is the ever-conspicuous Mystic Museum, also known as The Bearded Lady. With huge windows packed and stacked tightly with bones, bugs, books, and beyond, some might be put off by the gothic horror, but for we who dare to venture in, there is so much more in store. It’s a multi-part experience really: part museum, part vintage shop, part gothic hot spot. Step inside to find shelves filled with everything from healing crystals to mounted bugs to decorative coffin pillows; quite the delight for those with a love of magic, horror, and maybe even just antique stuff.
Photo Credit: The Mystic Museum
Stepping in, I was greeted by a delightfully creaky wood floor, reminiscent of that classic horror movie trope. I wouldn’t be surprised if there were props from a horror classic or two inside either. Anything spooky you could possibly imagine is housed or sold within these gorgeous rooms. Interested in a hanging taxidermy vampire bat? What about jars of various animal teeth? Or maybe a mounted jackalope is more your style? You name it, they’ve got it. If the idea of buying a jar of deer teeth gives you goosebumps, worry not. There’s so much more than just bones and animal remains at the Mystic Museum. The first thing that caught my eager eye was the fortune teller, the Bearded Lady herself! Cold eyes, red lips, and of course a luxurious beard, her neatly manicured yet worn hands hover over a mysterious crystal ball, waiting to share with you the future. What should I ask? What tantalizing hints of my future did I need to know? What would she see in me?
Before I fell fully for her charms, a glint caught my eye. Turning, I saw the huge table of crystals, unique cuts and colors galore. Sorry ma’am, but I have to check this out. The largest gems were like ice that would never melt, cold to the touch and filled with swirling and crackling formations. I was instantly enamored. I had only ever seen those smooth rocks you buy at zoo gift shops or teeny jewels planted firmly in a necklace or ring, but these were something else. Tall, elegant, neatly carved into pillars or palm-sized pyramids, ranging from common quartz to things I had never even heard of. Did you know that rubellite strengthens love and helps open hearts? Neither did I! Despite my veil of skepticism regarding gem magic, I couldn’t help but snag a pyramid of citrine. Even if it doesn’t “actually” radiate positivity and joy, it sure is pretty.
Moving down the rows of eclecticism, I couldn’t help but stop every few steps. It was like Antique Road Show: Halloween Edition. From vintage dining sets, complete with separate salad and entrée forks, to bygone dolls, and even an “antique vampire hunter set,” there’s something I never would’ve expected to see at every turn.
Photo Credit: The Mystic Museum
Past the antiquities is a room plastered wall to wall, floor to ceiling, with old horror movie paraphernalia. It’s a maze to walk through given that there are hundreds of VHS tapes and DVDs lining the shelves throughout the room. From posters, to t-shirts, to even a few cardboard displays, if you’re interested in the classics or the obscure, you’ll be sure to find it here. Shuffling around the selection, I found movies my dad’s dad introduced him to. The scariest part now is finding a way to watch them.
Trailing back through the antique and taxidermy room, I wandered into their more modern section. Beautifully embroidered chiffon coats that would make anybody look like a 21st century vampire and funky, chunky jewelry really stole the show for me.
What wardrobe is complete without big snake and skeleton rings? For the more modest, there’s plenty of options too, like a tasteful pair of spiderweb earrings or a simple onyx pendulum. Aside from bold fashion statements, there are tons of household amenities and hobby starters too. Candles and perfumes with names like “Saturn Manifestation” and “The Witching Hour,” books explaining Wicca and astrology, and even multi-cultural tarot deck types! I, who shares a name with a corvid, found myself drawn to the crow tarot deck. You’re not actually supposed to buy yourself your first tarot deck, so with a bit of haggling, I got a friend to purchase it for me. If I was going to get into tarot, it was absolutely going to be because of the Mystic Museum.
Photo Credit: The Mystic Museum
The museum aspect itself is a ticket event, hosting parties and galleries featuring ghoulish bands such as Drac and the Swamp Rats, and chilling exhibits like The Evil Dead: An Immersive Experience. I was lucky enough to attend a Halloween concert at the Mystic Museum, and it was an absolute blast. To this day, I still find myself humming “F*ck the Sun”, the theme song of all self-respecting vampires. It’s unlikely you’d find the Mystic Museum if you googled “weird and creepy things in LA,” but it would be a shame to miss out on such a unique shop. The owners and employees are fantastically fun people to talk to, full of tips about how to properly use a Ouija board or what shade of the Zombie Defense palette will really bring out your eyes. Not to mention everything in the store is one-of-a-kind, from the movies to the bugs to the Bearded Lady. If you’re the kind of person who wishes Halloween were year-round, this is a top stop for you. As for me, find me browsing their collections of haunting fashion and preserved animals. If I want to live my vampiric dreams, I’ll need to take some notes from the Mystic Museum.
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